My husband abandoned me because of our child | Tuko TV

Updated : Oct 25, 2019 in Articles

My husband abandoned me because of our child | Tuko TV

It is very painful, I did not sire these children alone Whenever I call him, he asks me where I expect him to get money how would you feel? If I gave him this baby today he will faint My name is Mwikali Mutinda, from Makueni County I am a mother of 5 children Edna Mwenda, Frida Mbuli, Tamaris Njeri, Blessing Njoki and Fredrick Mweha who is my only son and Fredrick Mweha who is my only son He was born on 31st May 2019 I was excited to have him but all of a sudden things turned tragic for me His stomach begun to swell and we were referred to Kenyatta hospital He was admitted to the ICU where it later emerged he had developed a bucket handle tear that had blocked his rectum and his anus was still small and developing He was admitted and an operation was done but it failed I was advised to buy these dilators and shown how to use them on him I was supposed to insert them every morning, noon and evening What are they used for? It’s used to widen the anal opening or the rectum Dilation is a necessary step as it helps in the tissue to heal properly after surgery How do you use it? There’s a special gel that I applied before inserting into his anus Inserting this dilator is not easy The baby feels tortured in that when someone holds his legs he knows it’s time to insert that thing It’s really painful I am not comfortable while performing that procedure I keep wondering for how long will I continue to insert these dilators in my baby But I just do it because I have no otherwise after insertion the baby would cry for more than 30 minutes He would even bleed at times but I kept doing it although it’s very sad and it hurts me I kept the faith that he will be okay but the situation remained the same Doctors at Kenyatta kept taking me round and round with the same procedures It was taking too long and proved too costly each time I decided to take him to Aga Khan The doctors there gave me hope and told me it’s a problem they could handle It cost me KSh 620,000 Where did you get the money? I had to express myself at the hospital and God came through I told them I am a single mother with other children It took the hand of God The doctor spoke to the lady at the welfare office and they decided to release me So you did not pay anything? Yes. I did not have a single cent at that time They told me to go home but I should keep in mind that was the beginning of my sons treatment So what is this bag for? The doctor said there was no way this child could be helped if I kept on inserting dilators He had to perform a stoma surgery to divert his waste This is just temporary as he continues with his medication Getting these colostomy bags is a problem Sometimes I am forced to cut a piece of cloth wash it then place it on his wound I am not always able to raise KSh 1,000 to purchase these bags Sometimes I only make KSh 250 a day through washing peoples clothes Such an amount cannot be enough considering that I still have to buy food for other kids I have been forced to device other means but still the pieces of clothes cannot manage the situation The wound needs to be cleaned from time to time I am hard working woman and I thank God for giving me the energy I work in a construction sector and I love my job Opportunities always come around, I always have favor because of my hard work This is mixing of sand and cement Anyone can do this job, whether a man or a woman It’s a simple job I thought you had left I brought this brick Sometimes when you get to work you are told it’s only your hard work that will pay you It’s a type of work that has a lot of challenges but you have no otherwise You have to sacrifice for your family even it means lifting bricks This is 3rd floor, you receive KSh 3 bob per brick you carry from ground floor For every floor you get KSh 1 So because this is 3rd floor it means you earn KSh 3 So if you only manage to bring only 2 bricks you are given KSh 6 How many do you manage to carry per trip? Just one how many do you manage a day? Maximum is 100 bricks I do any type of work that comes my way, but the last thing I can do is to get into prostitution I keep asking God not to allow me go that way Some of my friends keep asking me why I look healthy with a nice figure They keep saying that I have a good life but deep inside my heart I know what I am going through Some even say that if at all they had hips like mine they would get a sugar daddy but I ask myself would I run around looking for older men or stay here and take care of my child Come here baby It has become so challenging to go to work nowadays because getting someone to take care of my child while I am away working is a problem People refuse to stay with the baby because they don’t know how to handle his wound Some of these jobs are far away from home and one can spend there the entire day but for now I can’t work far away from home because this bag has to be changed I can’t give that responsibility to a daycare person because it’s tough for someone who has never handled such a case No one is willing to take care of my baby while I am away Not because they hate the baby but handling his case is tough for them Take care of him well until I come back okay? Okay All I want is to see my son heal So that I can lead a normal life I nearly committed suicide While in the ward I was informed that the landlord had locked my house Another phone call followed almost immediately and my children were crying because they were hungry I felt like committing suicide rather than watch my children suffer I called madam Pauline She has been a close friend all through and she has been encouraging me I had to give her a call and just explain to her what was happening at that time I told her I have reached the end She asked why I wanted to kill myself and if that was the best solution to my predicament She told me that my child will get better maybe after I have died but the children will suffer because no one will take care of them She advised me to hold on for the sake of my children even when there is no food in the house I became more courageous after we spoke and accepted the situation as it was Where is the father? He visited us in hospital with his sister The sister asked the doctor if there was a possibility of this child getting better the doctor told her there was a 50% chance that is how both of them left To date? He has abandoned us the only help I receive from him is through the NHIF card he registered for that fund using my details and it’s only because money is deducted from his card and directed to that fund Sometimes he visits the other children while I am away in hospital but he never comes to check on the progress of the sick child It is very painful because I did not sire these children alone Whenever I call him he asks where I expect him to get money If I gave him this child today, he will simply faint because he can’t handle him I am forced to soak my hands in salty water before washing this wound because there’s no sterilizer and I can’t afford to buy dettol I have gone through so much but I know this child will be okay What message do you have for your husband? I don’t know what to say Just talk to him I lack the right words to use so that he can understand the pain in my heart I just want him to remember the far we came and the promises we made for each other but he has failed to fulfill them He promised to take care of me, my children from my previous relationship as well as the ones we will have sired together but he has failed on his part He disappeared? Yes. I just want him to remember those promises


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