Dawson: Okay. Ready for this?
Audience: (Laugh) Dawson: Affirmations always work. (Laugh)
You don’t believe me? (Laugh) Affirmations always work. Have you experienced that affirmation
always work? I am skinny. I am skinny now. I am effortlessly skinny. See? (Laugh)
Audience: Doesn’t the camera add ten pounds? Dawson: Yeah, the camera. Photoshop out the.
(Laugh) So this is an important thing to remember
in EFT. Affirmations always work. And the affirmation I’m making is, I am effortlessly
skinny. That’s what my voice is saying. My subconscious is saying, In your dreams.
And that’s the affirmation that works. Or I double my income this year. And then
your subconscious is saying, Yeah, right. It works. That little voice and that’s what’s
called in EFT the Tail-ender. So we have the content of the affirmation that we think we’re
saying, what top dog says. You should do this. This is the way things should be.
Then we have the tail-ender which is that little voice at the end saying, Huh? You
think so do you? (Laugh) And that’s the real affirmation. That’s the real affirmation.
That’s why I say affirmations always work because the real affirmation is, Right.
Sure. I don’t think so. And that little voice of doubt in our head is right there.
So the affirmations really affect it. It’s just that we’ve got that tail-ender. Those
are things you can nail with EFT. And so you listen for those tail-enders and
when you hear them you tap on them. So that voice that says, I don’t think so,
even though I don’t think I can do this. So think of a goal now you might meet with
EFT. Think of something you might do if you were to release the emotional resistance doing
it. So just make up one. Think of some goal in your life that if you could drop your emotional
resistance you’d be able to effortlessly accomplish that goal. And then state it in
the positive. And notice what comes up for you as a resistance. I will have no trouble
doing this and then part of you says, Well I always have before. So we tap on that.
Even though it’s impossible to meet my weight loss goal, even though it’s impossible to
meet my financial goal, even though it’s impossible to retire, even though it’s impossible
to blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, the endless self-doubt you have chattering
away in your head. Mine sits on my left shoulder usually. It’s like a little demon sitting
there saying, I don’t think so. It’s never going to work.
I’ll have a whole room full of physicians or psychotherapists and I’ll have people
on stage and I’ll do a demonstration of EFT and the whole time I’m doing the demonstration
this little demon is saying, It’s not going to work. You’re about to embarrass
yourself in front of all these people. And then it works miraculously. It’s like,
Wow. That really worked. It’s amazing. So the next person comes up and the demon
says, do you think the demon is learning anything from this? The demon now shuts up and let’s
me get to work? No way. It says, Oh that was a fluke. (Laugh) That first one was a
fluke. Now you’re really about to embarrass yourself. And I’ve probably done 60 medical
conferences in the last three years and the little skeptics voice is still there saying.
Now that skeptics voice is there for a reason. It think it’s helping keep us safe, it’s
helping keep us from harm, it’s helping us not get in over our head.
So those tail-enders are there to protect us. That’s why I keep on saying to you,
say, I give thanks for this pain. I give thanks for this trauma. I give thanks for
this emotion because it’s been keeping me safe all these years. So you tap on those
things and release them. You don’t try and suppress them or say, Oh no. I can’t
think that about myself. It’s contradicting my affirmation.
In fact when you say an affirmation like, I’d like to see my income rise even though
we’re in the middle of a terrible recession. When part of you says that, when part of your
psyche makes that affirmation every part of your psyche that does not agree with it jumps
up and says, Hey! What about me? In fact if part of your psyche gets attention,
if this voice in your head that wants to make the income, the extra income, says that and
you give it attention, you’re giving attention to one voice in your head and soon the other
voices say, Gee. That voice is getting all the attention. I want to share the attention
too so I’ll speak up as well. So the moment you declare an attention everything
in you that does not believe that pops up and says, Hey! What about me? And those
are tail-enders. Those are the tail-enders of affirmation.
And that’s why we have such trouble often meeting our goals because our affirmations
are great, they’re in present tense, they have emotional impact, they’re in real time,
that those little voices that are skeptics and doubters pop up and say, In your dreams.
I don’t think so. You can’t do that. And so we tap on those. So you just find that
little tail-ender and say, Even though it’s impossible. Everyone around me is going
under financially. How can I possibly make more money? Even though my clients are diminishing,
even though my investments are going down, even though my 401K is now a 201K I deeply
and completely accept myself. Even though there’s all this evidence to suggest that
my aspirations to myself are ridiculous I accept myself. I accept every voice in my
head. I accept every part of myself. I accept the doubting voice in my head. I accept the
affirmative voice in my head. I accept all those old voices saying, You can’t do
this. You don’t deserve love. All the good men are taken. All the good women are
taken. There are no good jobs out there. people are clinging to their jobs if they have a
job. Both people who still have jobs are clinging to their job. There’s no job for me. It’s
hard to get new clients. I don’t deserve this. And you’ll say something sometimes
and you’ll be trying to make an affirmation and part of you is saying, I don’t believe
it. All these parts pop up. So those are the parts of you not to suppress
but love. Tap on them, love them. Say, �Thank you for helping keep me safe all this time.
Thank you for doing your best to stop me walking over the edge of a cliff. But I’m grown
up now. I don’t need you anymore. And I can release you.
So tail-enders, really important. When you make an affirmation and you say something
listen to the tail-ender. Oh actually Bob. Bob said something after
half a seminar of mine a while back and I told this story to people, Bob, when you weren’t
in the room so I’ll tell it now when you are in the room.
Audience: (Laugh) Dawson: And it was a wonderful moment. And
we’d had a half, like the first hour of a seminar I was doing and Bob was there at
the first seminar of mine he’d ever been to. And so everyone was having a great time
but Bob came to me after an hour, on the break, and said, Dawson, I can’t believe it.
You’re dealing with all this negative stuff. All you’re talking about the people is their
negative emotions and their problems. When do we get to the positive stuff? And that
is a question people often ask about EFT. We’ve spent at this point the whole of the
first day and we’ve spent half of the second day and I haven’t said to you, Let’s
tap on I’m going to double my income. I’m going to find the love of my life. I’m
going to get the home I desire. I’m going to overcome this health problem. I haven’t
said any of those things. All we’ve tapped on, and Bob you were appalled at all the negative
statements I was having people dredge up. I mean the expression on your face, and normally
this is one smiley, happy guy, but he came to me just looking, because in that particular
kind or workshop I put a whiteboard up, actually two or three whiteboards up and have people
write down every conceivable negative thing buried in their subconscious. And then we
tap on, even though all women are, all men are, all the good jobs are, all the money
is. We tap on all the stuff and release the emotional charge behind all those things.
So why do we deal in negative emotions? And the reason we focus on this with EFT is that
we’re trying to emphasize the negative or build up the negative in our lives. The reason
is because you can’t install positive emotions and affirmations on top of negative ones that
are rooted deep in your psyche. No matter how often you say, I am whole, perfect,
and complete if parts of you don’t believe it they will drag you down. So top dog is
saying, I am whole, perfect, and complete and underdog is saying, Ah. You’re a
mess. (Laugh) So we’re affirming all these things and deep in our gut we know that
they aren’t true, that voice of doubt is there.
So if you try and just say the positive emotion and make a positive affirmation without dealing
with all the stuff below, Shakespeare in Hamlet says, It doth but skin and film the ulcerous
place. Whilst rank corruption. Actually the John Gilgas version is, It doth but
skin and film the ulcerous place. Whilst rank corruption mining all within, infects unseen.
The Shakespearean version. (Laugh) �While rank corruption, mining all within, infects
unseen. So It doth but skin and film the ulcerous place. They’ve known this
for years. Shakespeare knew this. That you can’t just skin and film over this thing
and say, It’s all going to look nice. And so often, for example, in work relationships
you may have conflicts and in personal relationships, with your children, with your parents you
have these things. And just papering it over, people get used to doing that. Just put on
a happy face, smile, look cheerful. And yet where people are suffering inside and you’ve
got to go there and deal with that feeling of suffering and despair and doubt and hurt
and pain and you’ve just got to tap through it. And if you just stick with it, feel it
rather than suppress and deny it. Eventually you process it and there’s some kind of
big shift that happens. And that’s when you start installing the positive. Where there
are no more tail-enders sabotaging your affirmation then you can say the positive affirmation
and have it ring true. And suddenly your whole body is saying, Yes! Yes! Yes! Yes! Yes!
All the voices in you are in alignment, they’re in agreement because none of them are being
suppressed anymore. So suddenly you have a whole person that is advocating and wanting
this change, not just one or two or three bits while all the rest of the chorus is saying,
No, wanting to sabotage this good intention. There’s a wonderful phrase from NLP called
Congruence, being congruent. If I were talking to you now and I didn’t believe what I say
I could be a really convincing speaker and a really good speaker but you’d listen to
me and you’d think, Somethings off about that. You’d be able to tell if there
was doubt or if I didn’t really believe in this. If I was trying to scam you in some
way. I might be really convincing, a really good salesman, but you’d see something in
my gestures, my body language, my voice. You’d feel there’s something wrong. But when all
the parts of you are really in alignment, I’d talk to you now and even tell I really
believe this. So I’m able to share this with you because all the bits of me are in
the game. Parts of me aren’t sitting on the sidelines saying, Oh, I don’t think
so. So when you honor those voices, when you really process all of those negative emotions
and suddenly at some point all of you believes who you are and what you’re doing in life
and you come across the power, there is a real power, there’s authenticity, and there’s
personal power that pours through your gestures and suddenly the things that you want and
the things that you affirm happens. I am very, very careful about what I say I
want because I’ll give you a funny example. I have a really beautiful car at home. I have
a Mercedes 380SEC. It’s a 1981 Mercedes. And it’s gold, leather interior, beautiful
car. And I realized that at some point in my travels I saw those cars and I love those
cars. I wanted one of those cars. So for years I wanted one of those cars. About seven or
eight years ago on a road I drive across a lot, every few months, there was one of those
cars. It’s the right color, the right model, right in my line of vision as I would drive
this particular stretch of road. And this owner of this, it was actually a cabinet shop,
had parked this car behind this cabinet shop and I talked to him a couple of times. Do
you have the car for sale? And the car had some kind of electrical, it wouldn’t start
for some reason so he was willing to sell it maybe at some point. But he was attached
to the car. So over the course of about two years I’d talk to this guy every once in
a while about the car. And he wanted $2,000 for the car. It wasn’t running condition
and it was too much so I didn’t buy the car.
So one day I get a call from the guy and he said, ‘Oh yeah. You know my car? You want
my car. And he was clearly smoking dope at the time. It’s like (inhaling) Oh
that car you wanted. Yeah, yeah. He said, Bring a tow truck and $200 and it’s yours.
So I was there within an hour with a tow truck, towed the car away and suddenly I had this
car. And it turned out to be a very simple fix to fix the electrical problem and I drove
the car for a while. But the car had other problems I discovered. It had an air conditioning
problem. It had a radiator problem. It had a problem with the audio system. And the tinting
was falling off the windows. And needed new paint job after a while and blah, blah, blah,
blah, blah. This car became the bane of my life.
Audience: (Laugh) Dawson: And I’d eventually spent like four
times on the car what the car was worth. And today as I speak that car is sitting in my
backyard. It hasn’t been driven for a year. It’s just covered in a tarp. I just want
to not even see the car. I got what I wanted. Audience: (Laugh)
Dawson: But it was yesterdays dream. It wasn’t today’s dream. It was a dream I had in 1981
when the 1981 Mercedes 380C came out and it was a state of the art car. Okay? I forgot
to update my dream. (Laugh) If I set my mind on something it’s amazing it’ll just show
up in my life. So I’m very, very careful about what I intend nowadays because with
congruent intentions, when you’re congruent and you intend something (snap) it’ll show
up. But it may not be your highest good. Now I tend to pray for the universes highest good
for me to show up, not my limited conception of it because what I can perceive down here
and what I think I want is often not the highest good for all. So I’ve learned to really
let go and know that when I create it’s powerful things going to happen.
Yeah? Audience: Do we need affirmation lawyers to
write up? Dawson: (Laugh) So really watching your affirmations.
So you clear away all the undergrowth, you clear away all of the other voices in your
head, you clear away all the dissenting voices, you help them heal, you don’t suppress them,
you don’t deny them, you don’t put them down, you let them be, you give thanks for
them, and after a while you have enormous power behind your affirmations.
So let’s just go and do some more tapping on tail-enders. Think an affirmation of yours,
yours personally that has a tail-ender. And somebody tell me what their tail-ender is.
Audience: I’m not good enough. Dawson: Okay good. And what do you want? What’s
an affirmation? Audience: It doesn’t matter.
Dawson: (Laugh) Whatever I want is not good enough.
Audience: Whatever I want I’m not good enough. Dawson: Let’s work on that. Do you want
to come to the front here? Is that okay? Audience: I don’t care. But I can’t see
without my glasses. Dawson: That’s okay, Georgia.
Audience: Or do I need to see?