Dealing With Age Pressure | My Experience

Updated : Nov 19, 2019 in Articles

Dealing With Age Pressure | My Experience


100 Comments

  • Everyone has a different timeline and journey. Is there a specific time in your life when you felt age-related pressure piling up? Tell me here!

  • This is exactly what I need to hear right now! I have been having another life crisis at age 30! just had a baby, finished my Master, but yet havent found a job. I want to continue my youtube, but not confident enough to be myself and always thinking I am too old for this. So I guess I need to think again what exactly things that make me happy. Thanks Jenn for the inspiring video!

  • ❤❤❤❤❤ this video! Asian here. And turning 31 this upcoming weekend. Graduated during the recession in 2009. Joined the Army in 2012, medically retired within 8.5 months from sexual assault. Hid in my parents house for a few years and I'm in community college since age 29 for prerequisite to start my program in Physical Therapy Assistant at 31. Had lots of ups and downs in life, and even my "failures" set me up with the right lessons needed to be where I am today.

  • Hi Jenn,

    Thank you so much for this video. For a while now I was really scared to watch this video because I was scared of what I would learn and how I would use that knowledge. For years now I've been scared of trying new things and taking these risks because I'm scared of failing, like everyone else right? I've also just felt like my whole life has been on a time-crunch. I'm constantly trying to catch up with other people and I'm judging myself for where I am and judging myself for how far I've come in comparison to others. You will always lose in the "game of comparison". These things are hard for me to hear because I feel like I'm pressuring myself. My parents pressured me when I was younger and now that they've let go, well now that i'm 26, i just do it to myself. I'm still trying to learn not to but in watching your video it's made me feel so many feels! You always have such an uplifting way with your words. I'm glad I built up the courage to watch this video and absorbed its gift. I always tell other people that everyone has a different life manual, and depending on the context, that explains why they are and who they are but I can never seem to reflect upon my own advice. I think it was important for me to hear it from someone I look up to; you! 🙂 Thanks!

  • Hi Jenn! I can't believe you uploaded this video at a time where I really needed to hear something like this. I just graduated college and I'm feeling so incredibly lost. I don't know what to do so all I'm doing is just planning my life base on "where i should be" or "what i should be doing" and as a result its making me so unhappy. Hearing you talk about your journey really puts things into perspective. Thank you!

  • When I saw the title I immediately clicked on the video. I haven't seen anyone make a video on age pressure yet but I just turned 18 this year and all I can feel is age pressure from those around me and mainly from myself. Every day I'm constantly putting pressure on myself because I should have a good proper part-time job and I should know exactly where I want to be and attending a "better" university or my YouTube should be more active and better. I'm trying to learn to live in the moment but it's so hard for me to not compare myself to others but thank you for making a video ❤️

  • Found this very inspiring! I've basically grown up with you watching your videos and I have to say YOU'LL FOREVER BE TIMELESS <3

  • love the video, thank you for sharing! this was totally an eye-opener, these are things i keep at the back of my mind yet worry about , and yes comparing others is an obstacle all of us can overcome and we are all on our own path own journey! Keep up the videos theyare GREAT!

  • I know of these societal pressures and I say "Fuck it, I'm playing a different game."
    In the Hispanic community, it's acceptable to stay with your parents well into your 20's if you're going to college, working (and contributing to the home) before moving out. My parents did not understand American Universities–they expected me to have my Master's degree by the age of 23. American schooling is so long and drawn out, and they kept asking when I'd be finished. Women were expected to leave the home when they got married. They were expected to get married by 25, have kids before 35–that was what I was taught. I've seen so many teeny-bopper baby-momma's with disappointed parents that it's changed the expectations.

    I just turned 28, but I did not follow this. I went to community college (didn't get accepted by universities), moved out around 24 and I'm not married, have no kids and I plan on staying childless. I don't believe in "eventually" having kids, I think that's something that gets drilled into us from a young age. Growing up, I saw how my mom and aunts went about their lives with us and I also saw the extended family, and realized I didn't want to be the perpetual nanny, serving others and never being able to enjoy life. I know what you mean by "expired" and I think that stems from the societal perception that your prime baby-making years are in your 20's so if you want to have kids, you better look like Ms. Universe and find a good husband by then because men like attractive younger-looking women, bar none. Once you start to look like you're not in your prime, the men flock elsewhere. Again, this is the PERCEPTION. There are ALWAYS ALWAYS ALWAYS going to be exceptions to this, but I am perpetually reminded of Kevin Hart's joke, "Men are only as loyal as their options."

    I have not done 1/100th of the things everyone else my age has done/achieved. We might share this in common, hence the comparison. I'm loooong overdue for a life of enjoyment. Does that mean I'm going to go crazy with drugs/alcohol/clubbing/etc? No. To achieve my goal and live the life VERY few people on Earth get the chance to live, I moved out and had no social life, with my waking hours revolving around work and improving myself. I want the rest of my life to be great, so I'm making these sacrifices now and building on it to get where I need to get. "Average" is not a life I want. I want to look back and say, "So what if I didn't achieve X, Y or Z by that age? Look where I am now!"

    My goal in writing this wall of text is to tell you that you're not alone in feeling this way and that you don't absolutely-positively-have-to follow these societal expectations. I know the pressure to be married with children is very strong, I'm Hispanic and everywhere I look I see babies in AND out of wedlock! You've got your own timeline and things will always happen at their own time. Your purpose in life shouldn't be "human incubator," but if you want to have kids in the future, please be aware that there IS a deadline to have healthy children. Of course, the deadline is extended with the help of modern technological advancements so you can rest a little on that.

    I love your channel and you should never create content you don't like because you'll be perpetually boxed into that category because "it works" and not because you have a passion for it. Don't worry about the newcomers, Jenn. You've got experience on this site and you've evolved so you'll find a way to make content you and your viewers love. <3

  • Thank you Jenn.. so much.. I've been watching your channel since i was about 16 and I'm graduating from college next year. I'm scared because i still haven't figured out what I'm going to do after i graduate, but this video really helped a lot, especially the part where you said comparing is only losing.. part of me is glad that everyone is going through this and I'm not the only one feeling this way! I really love videos like this, so thank you!

  • I am glad I came across this. I am also 27, and all what you said inspired me to continue to be me and live my journey! I am so happy you are engaged! 💜 And even though I am not, reminds me too to be happy for everyone as well! There is a timing for everything, so thank you 💜💜💜

  • Videos like this just remind us again how much we love you. So relatable and genuinely caring, and honest. Love you Jenn

  • I deal with age pressure as well but I learn to handle it better now I think.. We can't change the past so I think the most important thing is learning to be better in all aspects and learning from our past mistakes..

  • "FACTS: No matter how long it took you to finish a degree, it’s a degree. Even if it took you 10 failed relationships to find love, you found it. A house bought at the age of 65 is still an accomplishment. PS: Don't let people bully you with their timelines of success! Period!"

  • I’m also 27, and I’ve felt all of these pressures, especially ones regarding career and marriage. Hopefully never again though! Onto bigger, more fulfilling and happier things always !!! 🌸🌺

  • I’m glad that in today’s world there is an increase of women who are choosing to wait longer to get married and have kids so that it doesn’t feel like this is what we have to do by a certain age. I certainly don’t feel any pressure with that but I do feel pressure about finding a career I love because I want to be successful and for me being successful means making a difference in the world and holding meaningful relationships in my career and personal life.

  • Thank you for this. I'm 24 and still haven't figured out anything in my life yet. I haven't earned any money, I don't have any skills, I don't have friends and I haven't even had my first job which seems so strange to many people. I feel way behind and out of place and too late for everything.
    But looks like I'm not alone.
    PS: I love older youtubers who are my age or older way more than the younger ones.

  • Oh my gosh! It was really perfect and awesome video to me! Your spirit will be spreading everywhere! Thank you for nice video.

  • I've been watching your videos for a long time now – ever since you were in college doing clothes encounters. as you grew more and more popular on youtube, i see your editing skills, creativeness, and communication grow. i'm proud of you on what you've become, but i gotta be honest that sometimes i miss that rawness in your videos. those less edited, and imperfect videos. i understand the digital world can be demanding, but the bottom line is, we're all human looking for some connection that is relatable to our own lives. keep doing what you're doing but i think your fans would like to see your imperfect side.

  • I love these kind of videos where you share what yu've been through. It's very personal but I would love to see you talking about struggling with anxiety if you've ever had. Love you, keep up the good vids!

  • Age expiration for women is very common and easy topic to say with friends so I have thought this kind of thinking is only for Aisian women but i was surprised finding it’s not. “We are all on our own path” How gorgeous!

  • i love this video so much. im turning 27 this year and broke up with my fiance. had quit the opportunity of a lifetime thinking i was going to get married to him. and havent done anything worthwhile per say all these years. theres been a lot of pressure to find a solid job and get everything together and to make a 5 year plan and whatnot. so to see that there`s others dealing with age pressure or the thought of having to go the traditional route kind of makes me have hope that there maybe a bright future waiting ahead. thank you for such a thought provoking video and im so glad you decided to make this video.

  • I really appreciate your lovely video
    I’m from korea and 27 years old.
    I have worked for 3 years in korean congremerate where many korean people want to work for.
    I always think that if I get a job career and start to work, there are no worries in my life.
    But it’s another start for meeting the societal criteria of korea.
    In my age,woman start to feel pressured for marrying gorgeous guys ,having own apartment and always compare themselves with another.
    After watching video, age pressure is common phenomenon regardless of culture and country.
    I really like the your words that people have their own journey.
    I hope that you will always share your story with sweet.

  • Ugh, you're my big sister in my head. Thank you so much for your transparent videos Jenn! Sending love from Colorado!

  • This video is so good Jenn! Such an important topic. Also TBT to Clothes Encounters with Sarah!! One of my original favorite channels 🙂

  • you are so inspiring, thank you for sharing this with us. its very encouraging. career is defiantly my pressure source as well. i am an actress and it really relates to me. age is so big in the social media and entertainment career path, but i chose this path becuz i love it but after a certain time the focus is lost and these kinda things starts to get into ur head! so thanks a lot for sharing. and btw u look super young anyways! u look like ur 22!

  • So real. I JUST graduated college and moved back home to a low income/less educated area. The repair man asked me how many kids I have. ?!???? Meanwhile when I went out to the mall, the sales clerk thought I was 17.

  • I'm 28. Truly understand what you have said in the video. I did experience my quarter life crisis where by i was constantly doing the same things in my work for past 7 years which made me feel aimless. I'm sick for it and i 'm looking for a change. I picked myself up and decided to further my study now. Yeap seeing all my friends are getting married , having babies, it does make me feeling stress and i even question myself, did i make the right choice for pursuing my study?Right now, i just have to keep telling myself different people have different pace in their life. We don't have to follow society. As long as we know what we want, we 're happy, nothing can stop us chasing dream.

  • Thank you sooo much for this great vid Jenn! 😉 I've been watching your videos since 2014. I'm going trough the exact same thing right now. Because I've been through some rough years lately, I haven't been able to finish junior college, so that's what i'm doing now. 🙂 Meanwhile, all my friends have finished college and got stable jobs, a husband/wife and even children. It does make me sad that I haven't experienced that yet, but this really cheerd me up. Keep fighting and believing in yourself. 😉

  • Jenn you and I are the same age, Ive watched you since I was 18, its so refreshing to see how much you have blossomed into such a beautiful and compassionate human-being, I love your contagious smile and how you light up a room with your positive energy.

  • I am 15 now and I'm currently having peer pressure from social media and stuff..but you inspired me so much!!!! Thank u Jenn. I love your channel. <3

  • Since I hit my 20s it felt like I am living with a constant question of "what's next?". I feel so restless and like I have an imaginary deadline. With all these people getting married, starting a family, and building a career, there's just me who still has not figured out what I really want to do with my life. But, I'm trying not to be eaten alive of all the pressure and live my life with a smile on my face. This video helped. Thank you.

  • I don't really know where to start with this but i'll try. I'm currently 14 years old and I've been feeling age pressure ever since i was like 11/12. I've had a really hard time dealing with it and on most days i felt stressed and unmotivated . Watching this video (Along with a few others of yours) is really making me rethink my mind set and help me see things in a better way. I know i shouldn't be feeling age pressure at such a young age but i do . I guess what i'm trying to say is thank you. Your words have inspired to throw away that pressure and live my life to the fullest until i die. -Thank you for helping me realize that, i wish you all the best in 2019.

  • it was a lovely video and thanks for the advice:) I am the person who constantly compare myself with others and crave to be the better one. but I now realized this behavior makes me sick.. I love your word "we are all on our own paths" and I hope I can be the person who love myself and know my path

  • Lately I've been really stressing about life and school,but watching your video have been the greatest and most inspiring thing ever. I love the content of your video it touched on a lot of topic that us Asian American is going through and it feels good to know that I'm not the only one going through it alone.

  • thank you, thank you so much Jen for telling me the whole thing in this video! i'm inspired! so muchh love

  • Hey, How u guys doing! I'm about to turn 20 this May. I realized how fast the time is passing once I turned 19 last year, which people consider u as an adult. I grew up in a traditional Chiese family, I was born and reaised in Shanghai till 13. I would say that im very well-protected by each of my family member during my teenagehood and childhood, which makes me not independent comparing to other people at my age. I consider that as a personality shortage. I started my collge 1 year later than other people, and now every one wants me to graduate asap. However, I kinda want to to some part-time job, but this idea got rejected by my pararents. Because from their perspective, study is the only way to succeed

  • I watched this video a year ago, coming back, it's hitting me again. Like many others who have commented, I think I've followed your channel for at least 6-7 years now if not more. I'm currently 26 going on 27, and this talk is so real and so relate-able.

    In the asian standard, at my age I should have achieved specific milestones in my career. I've decided a year after graduating from university that I did not want a 50 hour work week, heck, not even 40. It was killing my emotional and physical health. So at the age of 23 I traveled and worked abroad for a year and a half. Coming back, I felt behind while I see all my peers updating their linkedin profiles with promotions, and seeing others my age with more financial freedom.

    I know I have deliberately chosen to invest in myself by jumping into startups and learning technical skills that requires long hours but can potentially yield the ability to work remotely with high rewards. However, these are long term endeavors that can be discouraging during the journey. I've failed again and again, leaving my family questioning me and my decisions, telling me to get a safe government job with good benefits instead. Other people's perspective and the inclination to compare myself to others make me question myself almost daily. Until I hit reminders like your video, that living in other people's expectations and comparing with other's journey is a losing battle.

    Thanks for reminding me to just enjoy the journey and have faith.

  • I'm 37, don't own a house or a car, not married, Indian – so you know what my parents must be like. I'm changing careers so starting from the bottom again. I get down because no matter my positive outlook societal pressure is always on my back and i have to pick myself up every damn day.

  • I never felt pressured for college and never went because I knew I didn't want to because hated HS and sucked at it. But do see the pressure about marriage and kids because everyone I knew from HS is now pregnant married or has kids

  • I’m 25 next month. Started college in 2012 but stopped after a year because I was going through a hard time. Barely went back last year & everyday I’m trying to not freak out over feeling like I don’t have enough time. Watching this video & reading these comments is such a huge relief that I’m not the only one ❤️

  • Really insightful video 🙂 I’m a guy who’s 29 and pushing 30. Even though I spend everyday doing what I love, I still have those societal pressures of having to do things at a certain age. ESP being insecure about getting old
    , aging, and not being attractive anymore. What I’m working on right now is not identifying myself so much with what’s outside but rather the power I have in the inside.

  • Needed to hear this again. I'm graduating college next month and I can't stop stressing about what the next step should be.

  • Im 32 and just startet university. My first semester comes to an end in a few days. It is very exciting and i feel that pressure for sure. The youngest ones are 19. So there is an agedifference. But i try not to get to hung up on that and i stay positive. Im seriously having the time of my life right now. Im so greatful to have the chance to go to university at that age and do what mages me happy.

  • thank god i found you.

    will be turning to 28 this december. n feeling quite messed up w my life.
    but from now on i will learn a lot from your videos

    i guess im a year younger than you? im an 1991 born.

  • Hey Jenn, it’s really cheering for me after watching the video. I’m living in China, turning my 28 next month. When I was at my early 20s I thought the perfect age to get married would be 28. And as the year come I had never thought I could still be single. What a life! I met guys. But either they don’t like me or I don’t like them. Relationship at age 28 is so heavy that you know you’re choosing your future life. I totally agree with you that everybody have their own path and you don’t need to compare to others. Though in countries like China you will face much more pressure to reassure this and stick to yourself. Thanks for spreading the cheerful worlds out. I wish more people could share this.

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